In November of 2011 I began thinking about fulfilling my lifelong dream of serving as a missionary in the church. I went to see Bishop Todd Thompson and he was excited that I wanted to go, and assured me of the many blessings I'd have by serving the Savior in this way.
I decided to list my home in January, but when I found out how much I'd lose by selling it, I became fearful and backed out. I continued to have feelings that my time to
go was soon. As spring came it was still very much on my mind, but the
economy wasn’t good so I continued to wait.
On Thursday of this week I received a call from the assistant stake executive secretary. He said that Elder Hanson of the area seventy would be with us at Stake Conference this weekend and he and Pres. Paxman would like to visit with me. I can’t begin to share on paper the feelings I had at having these two priesthood brethren come to my home. My heart was filled with wonder that I would have such a blessing in my life, and that they would take the time necessary to visit with me.
They arrived at my home on Saturday morning. We had a tender and loving visit. Elder Hanson said that he knew a little of my background, but wanted to learn more about me and asked me to tell him about myself. I told him about my six wonderful children that are a great joy to me. They support and sustain me so much in my life. I told him my life is filled with joy and peace. He asked about the callings I had held in the church, and I told him I had served in almost all the callings a woman can hold. I'm serving as an ordinance worker in the temple, and as a counselor in the Relief Society right now.
He asked about my children and I told him I had only one child that is active in the church, and that my heart ached for my other children to have that blessing in their lives. He expressed that I must feel great joy in watching my active daughter living the gospel with her family. I told him what a great comfort that is to me, and how much happiness I feel when I'm in their home and feel the spirit there.
I expressed my concern about my other children and feel there is not much I can do to encourage them now, without creating some feelings of resentment in their hearts. He told me to continue to pray for them and that my example would play an important part in their lives. He encouraged me to understand that even the prophets had children who wandered from the teachings of their parents, and I should never feel alone in my sorrow for them.
I told him I have a goal to go on a mission someday, and that I had filled out paperwork to go in the fall, but had become concerned when I found that I would lose so much money in my home. He told me to continue to be prayerful and Heavenly Father would let me know when it's time to go. He said although it’s important to make myself financially prepared, as much as possible, it should not be something to hold me back when the prompting from the spirit tells me it’s time.
I asked him about his family and about his calling in the church. He said he's from Portland and spends a lot of time in the Seattle area. He was just sustained to be an area seventy at the last General Conference. I expressed my love for Pres. Paxman and his family. Pres. Paxman was my bishop when I was going through my divorce and was such a comfort and strength to me. I worked in his home for a few years and became very close to him and his family. I feel a warm blanket around me when I think of the Paxman family.
Before they left they asked if there was anything they could do for me, and I asked if they would give me a priesthood blessing. They said they’d love to. The spirit was very strong in my home and in my heart. In the blessing, Heavenly Father through Elder Hanson told me: I would not only go on one mission, but would have the blessing of going a second time. He expressed the importance of listening to the spirit as I prepare for this calling. He also blessed me with comfort and strength to carry the burdens in my life. He encouraged me to continue to be prayerful about my children and that “if I live a life of righteousness” my children would eventually come back to the fold. He told me of the love that the Savior and Heavenly Father have for me, and assured me they hear my heartfelt prayers.
Having these brothers come into my home was such a wonderful, spiritual experience for me. I will always be grateful to Heavenly Father for allowing me to have this experience, and feel His love and care.
I had been reading the conference talks given in the priesthood session of General Conference during the week. I feel like the tender feelings in my heart, as I read these talks prepared me for this blessing. I've received many gifts of love and charity from good “men of the priesthood” over the past years. They've been ever present in my life when I've had physical and spiritual needs arise. I’m grateful for them, and the ways they've touched my life.
May 27, 2012
My home teachers came this evening. Brother Hale is the executive secretary to the Stake Presidency. I expressed my joy at having this blessing come to me. He said, “Sister Baxter, I can assure you that there were prayers for guidance as to who these brothers should visit. They only had time to visit two families in the stake. Heavenly Father let them know they were to visit you”.
